Why Getting Married Young Isn't Such A Bad Thing

My husband and I got engaged when we were just 18 years old. It was one of the happiest days of my life, even if didn’t quite go according to plan (long story there). And then, nearly ten months later we got married at just 19 years old. Most people were very happy for us and encouraged us and were Godly examples for us to follow.

Others, well, not so much. No one ever told me outright that it was crazy I was getting married so young. But there were a few occasions when I told people I was engaged and they definitely gave me funny looks, possibly questioning my judgement or whether I happened to be pregnant. I wasn’t.

So why on earth would I go and do something crazy like marry my best friend? (Gee I dunno, maybe because we were in love?) Why would I miss out on my youth and settle down so young?

Maybe because marriage isn’t about ME. Maybe it’s about making a life with the person I love more than anyone in the world. If I get to spend the rest of my life living for someone else, caring for their needs and their happiness, is that wasting my youth?

It seems that the past several decades there has been this strange taboo on getting married young, even when fifty or sixty years ago people got married right out of high school all the time. In fact, both of my grandparents married their high school sweethearts and had marriages that lasted more than fifty years. Fifty years people!

Interestingly enough, I’ve realized recently that I know A LOT of people who are rebelling against this cultural norm and getting married young anyway. And who doesn’t love a rebel?

And I’ve started to realize that us “crazy kids” getting married young have several things in common. Things that actually aren’t that crazy.

For one; We don’t want to live together before we get married.

I know. Absolute, utter nonsense. I remember when I was engaged both my parents got a ton of flack for letting their 19 year old daughter get married. “Why don’t they just live together?” People asked them, as if somehow that was a better alternative. But what is the difference really between getting married and living together, except that in one case you’ve made a lifetime commitment to another person and in the other case there will always be one foot out the door. Just in case.

But in marriage, there is no, one-foot-in, one-foot-out. It’s all or nothing. Which brings me to my next point.

We understand the sanctity and commitment of marriage.

We don’t want to date around. We don’t want to party. We value things like marriage and family and commitment.

Most of the people I know who don’t want to settle down are people who like to drink and party and mess around. They don’t want to be tied down. They want experiment. They think marriage is a piece of paper and it doesn’t mean anything.

We disagree. We believe there is so much more to life than partying. Like serving our spouse, even when we aren’t “feeling the love.” We want a family, and to raise our children in an upright manner. Most of all though, we aren’t afraid to settle down and commit to one single person for the rest of our lives.

I wonder who is really more mature?

Lastly; We want to start our lives with the person we love.

I’ve never actually seen the movie but I’ve heard the quote, “When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” (When Harry Met Sally)

I’m not sure I could really say it any better. If you’ve found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, whether at 19 or 39, why wait?

Because age equals maturity? I think everyone knows that’s not really true in the long run. Some people are ready to be married at 19 and others not until much later.

But, I digress. The point is, getting married young is not such a bad thing. Every morning I get to wake up to the man of my dreams. And fall asleep next to him every night.

We get to build a life together. My husband and I never lived together, so when we moved in together after we got married we got to enjoy the newness of getting married. We learned more about each other (for better or worse). We figured out how to work as a team and do things together. We weren’t stuck in our old ways like some people are when they enter into marriage.

But one of the best things about getting married young; we get to be there for all those big milestones in life. I got to be there when my husband was accepted into his program. I’ll get to be there when he graduates and when he gets his first job as an ultrasound tech. We got to experience the joy of having our first child together. We will get to go through life together, enjoying the ups and downs together.

I can’t imagine anything better than going through life with my favorite person by my side. Sure there will be (and there have been) storms along the way. We’ve been thrown more than a couple of curveballs. It’s not always rainbows and butterflies and happy young love. Sometimes it’s really hard. It takes work. But it is always worth it in the end.

So yes, getting married young isn’t a bad thing at all. And though some people might find it a little crazy, I don’t feel like I’m missing out at all. It has been the greatest adventure, and I look forward to many more.

Politicians Are NOT Going To Save Us

Ugh. Politics. My least favorite topic in the whole world. So much passion on either side. So much… fighting.

I don’t know about you but anytime politics of any sort get brought up I dread the oncoming conversation. In fact, I’m dreading posting this at all because I know someone is not going to like what I have to say. And the thing is, it doesn’t even seem to matter whether I agree with them or not. There’s always arguing, disagreement, name-calling, hurt feelings… No. I’d like to stay as far away from that as possible.

However, this year it seems to be worse than usual. With the presidential election last year I’ve witnessed more political tension and strife than I ever have before. Every way you look someone is angry about something. And someone else is angry with them for being angry about whatever the first person was angry with!

Anger. Fear. Tension. Strife. Quarreling. Name-calling on Facebook. It’s all too much for me sometimes. So often I’ve wondered why we can’t just calm down and talk things out civilly, like adults. Because I’ve worked in a daycare. I know a temper tantrum when I see one. And these days it seems like there are an awful lot of toddlers trapped in adult bodies.

Now I don’t want to say all of this to make people mad. Heaven knows that is the last thing I want.

But a few weeks ago I came to a realization. I was scrolling through Facebook when I came across some political piece criticizing something or other. It was one of those people who is constantly posting political things. (It doesn’t really matter who but we all know that person) Normally I just scroll on. I tend to avoid controversial fighting on Facebook (and real life too if I’m being honest).

But for some reason I paused and read this particular little ad. It was something about the president being a nazi or some such. Now I don’t know if that’s true or not (and that’s not really the point) but it made me stop and think.

This person, for whatever reason, truly believed our president was acting like a nazi. It was in that moment that I realized I had a hope that this person did not have. The hope of Jesus.

For a moment I saw the world as they saw it. They believed the people in power did not have the people’s best interests at heart. They thought they were nazis, tyrants, the big dogs on top. Whatever you want to call them. And they were scared.

And I realized I would be scared too if I had to put my entire faith into a human being. Let alone a human being that I didn’t think was a good person.

And suddenly my heart broke.

All of these people, left to put their hope in no one but a human being. A faulty, broken human being. To be honest, I don’t know how they do it. I don’t know how someone could live without the hope that Jesus offers.

But I do know one thing.

“He changes times and seasons; he removes kings and sets up kings; he gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to those who have understanding…” Daniel 2:21

I don’t pretend to know why God does the things he does. I don’t always like the people he puts in power. I don’t always want to follow where he leads. But I do know this; Politicians are NOT going to save us. Human beings are NOT going to save us. The nicest, most honest person on the planet is still NOT going to save us.

Because people will always let us down. Even the people who care about us most will let us down. Because none of us are perfect and we’re all more than a little broken.

But I’m not afraid. This world can be a scary, dark, cruel place, but the light of Jesus will be my guide. Because in the end, he is the only one who can truly save us.