tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-50562637449359500962024-03-04T21:08:18.604-08:00Hot Mess MamaJust a young mom learning something new everydaySabrina Lozierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06087124764983335890noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5056263744935950096.post-27244482237285988682018-01-31T10:54:00.000-08:002018-01-31T10:54:11.509-08:00Lies I Believed About Motherhood<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I remember the day I took that first pregnancy test quite vividly. I’d been having some subtle symptoms for a week and half or so but I’d convinced myself it was all in my head. I definitely could not be pregnant. And then I thought, “Oh what the heck, I’ll just take one.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Lo and behold, two blue lines. I was pregnant.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It was both exciting and terrifying. There was a tiny, little human being inside of me! I couldn’t believe it. I was actually going to be a mom. </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;">All my life I couldn’t wait to have kids of my own. And then when it was there, staring me right in the face, I suddenly felt very nervous. Was I really ready to be a mom?</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLyGA5KEkjdB8EVCT9H6mknnQv_1dFSjHU4lNArsy7AWG4ZuEa7CrR9mZ67rrs7P4rHZVCrkdBnsH_aHJSFuqH-8pKNAs-bvHr6dmzk1w3Nmzz9HRVnlt-xTCbDWRryTUB0Yb0yXhlEZDi/s1600/2018-01-30+11.40.07.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLyGA5KEkjdB8EVCT9H6mknnQv_1dFSjHU4lNArsy7AWG4ZuEa7CrR9mZ67rrs7P4rHZVCrkdBnsH_aHJSFuqH-8pKNAs-bvHr6dmzk1w3Nmzz9HRVnlt-xTCbDWRryTUB0Yb0yXhlEZDi/s320/2018-01-30+11.40.07.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">As my pregnancy progressed I felt less scared and more excited. By the end of my pregnancy I could hardly wait to have my little man. I just wanted him here in my arms. (And I was really done being pregnant)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And then, at long last, he was here. My beautiful little boy. (Okay, I admit when he first came out he was kind of weird looking) They placed him on my chest for the first time and I nearly cried tears of joy. It was incredible.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And then we brought him home. And that’s when the real work began. It’s strange how being a mom, and a parent in general, can be both the best job in the world and the hardest. With no pay. Actually it’s more like negative pay. Yet, despite the trials that come with being a mom, it’s all worth it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Even though I haven’t been a mom for very long, I’m beginning to realize there were things I believed about motherhood that really aren’t true. Ideas I've believed for so long I didn't realize how it was effecting the way I view myself and the way I view motherhood. It’s been a slow process, coming to terms with some of these ideas. But I've realized by believing these lies my view of motherhood has been twisted. It makes me feel like a failure, like I will never be good enough mother to my son. I realized that the enemy was messing with my head, twisting good things into things that hold me back and make me feel inadequate. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So these are just a few of the lies I've believed, whether consciously or not, for a majority of my life. And I think it's safe to say that there are many women out there who've believed these lies, who've let society tell them what a good mom looks like. My hope is that by opening up about this issue I've faced that other mothers out there can also do the same. So these are the lies I believed about motherhood. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; text-decoration-line: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Lie #1.Being a wife and mom will completely fulfill me</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Back when I was in high school I had such a hard time figuring out what I wanted to do with my life. Did I want to be massage therapist? Did I want to be a teacher? Did I want to be an Imagineer for Disney? I bounced back and forth between this and that. Nothing ever really sticking. And in retrospect I can see why. It’s because even though I didn’t know what I wanted to be, I knew someday I wanted to be a wife and mom. It seemed a little silly to spend my time and money on college education when, in the end, my hope was simply to be a stay-at-home mom. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And then, shortly after I graduated my husband and I got married and three months later we were pregnant. It was just the sort of fairy tale ending I had hoped for. But just a few weeks after I had Levi I began to realize that motherhood is </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>hard.</i></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> I knew it would be, but I didn't know how much. And while I love my husband and son more than anything else in the world, I still didn’t feel completely fulfilled.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I know it shouldn’t have, but it shocked me. How could what I’ve dreamed of my entire life, not fulfill me? How could what God laid on my heart </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">not</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> fulfill me? It seemed crazy. I’d wanted this my whole life and now it didn’t feel like enough. And only recently did I begin to learn the truth. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Even though being a wife and mom is part of who I am, it is not solely who I am. My world had been revolving around being a wife and mom, even before I was either, when it should have been revolving around Jesus. I know that God put it on my heart to be a wife and mom, but idolizing my husband and son had left me bitter and empty. True fulfillment comes when I surrender my life to Christ. And by doing that I’ve learned to appreciate and love being a wife and mom even more. Go figure, right?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; text-decoration-line: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Lie #2. I will instantly bond with my child</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">As I mentioned earlier it was one of the most amazing days when my little baby boy was born, albeit hard, but nonetheless amazing. When they laid him on my chest for the first time it was the best feeling in the world. After all of this hard work, he was finally here. We had a magical “golden hour” (or two if I’m honest). I felt elated. I was on cloud nine. Nothing could bring me down!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And then the epidural wore off. And the adrenaline died down. I was tired. I was in pain. And suddenly I had more responsibility than ever before. Levi had trouble nursing at first. I was struggling with breastfeeding. Oh, and did I mention I was exhausted and in a lot of pain? Suddenly, being a mom seemed a lot less magical. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Don’t get me wrong, I loved Levi from the moment I met him. But I just didn’t feel that instant bonding that other women say they felt. I know it may not have really been the case but it certainly felt like Levi preferred pretty much </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">anyone</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> else to me. Unless he was hungry. In the beginning I just felt like a milk machine. How come we didn’t have that special bond that moms share with their babies? Was I doing something wrong?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Once again, in retrospect, I can see the truth. The matter of the fact is, even though I’d carried this little guy for nine months, we still had to get to know each other. Like with any relationship, be it your spouse or your sister or your friend, the more time you spend getting to know them, the more you learn about one another and the more you bond. Sometimes, even mom and baby relationships just take time. And that’s okay. (That being said, if after a long time you still don’t feel bonded to your baby that can be a sign of postpartum depression so you really ought to talk with your doctor.)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; text-decoration-line: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Lie #3. I have to be superwoman</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This is one lie that still plagues me. I have been slow to really take this to heart. But I know in my head that it’s simply not true. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I was so naive when it came to motherhood. Even though I’ve grown up working with kids there are still some things that took me off guard. I had all these ideas about what I was going to do once I was a mom. Things like making homemade baby food, and nursing for the first year and keeping my house clean all of the time.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Boy oh boy, was I in for a shock. Guess what? When you’re a mom, you’re kind of tired sometimes. I know. Truly shocking. It’s amazing how some days I feel like I’m so on top of things. I’ve done the laundry and the dishes. I’ve played with Levi and given him super healthy, homemade baby food. I’ve even showered, put on makeup and a cute outfit! Look out world, here I come!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And then the next day I’m chugging down coffee in sweatpants and it’s all I can do to make it til naptime. How could I be so awesome one day and so… not awesome the next? And why did I feel like such a failure for simply being tired?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Well I’m learning, very slowly I might add, that I don’t have to superwoman. Striving to be a good wife and mom is a very good thing. But trying to be perfect twenty-four/seven is impossible. Not to mention, absolutely exhausting. The thing is, kids don’t really care if you’re superwoman or not. At the end of the day if your kids are fed and loved, then you’re doing a pretty good job.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; text-decoration-line: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Lie #4. I will love being a mom all the time</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This lie sort of goes back to the very first one, thinking that motherhood will somehow completely fulfill you. Thinking that you will love every second of every day of being a mom. The truth is, you won’t. I’m sure by now you’ve realized motherhood is no picnic. It’s hard work. Changing poopy diapers, cleaning up perpetual messes, finding mysterious crusty substances stuck to your jeans. (Is it poop? Is it spit up? Is it baby food? Guess we’ll never know..) </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It’s enough to drive any sane person completely bonkers! And sometimes, I don’t </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">love</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> being a mom. Sometimes I long for the days when I could just leave the house whenever I wanted. Now I have to pack up a baby and pray that I can get my errands finished before he has a meltdown. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">For a while I felt so guilty about this. I had always wanted to be a mom, why would I not love being a mom all the time? I’ve come to realize, it’s okay if I don’t love being a mom all the time. I was a person before I became a mom. I will be a person after my children grow up and leave. Sometimes, even the best moms, just need a break. And that's okay.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJZ8Bgcgx8aY4sD_ZwvoJyRowF8s9WWZMdou_38n9brz60jjMHAjWnUV0vBuRXh-PNoQsUppgfC8yDV6msSbfCQrL9xYJaPaDcLGURvO75KewP2CtZMrWaUU7KeGOAoiXVSdZRf_z1ncwB/s1600/20171203_141508.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="900" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJZ8Bgcgx8aY4sD_ZwvoJyRowF8s9WWZMdou_38n9brz60jjMHAjWnUV0vBuRXh-PNoQsUppgfC8yDV6msSbfCQrL9xYJaPaDcLGURvO75KewP2CtZMrWaUU7KeGOAoiXVSdZRf_z1ncwB/s400/20171203_141508.jpg" width="225" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; text-decoration-line: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Lie #5. I’m Not Strong</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This isn’t so much a lie I believed about motherhood, but a lie I believed about myself. I’ve never felt particularly strong either physically or spiritually. I’ve never been super outgoing or brave or courageous. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But perhaps the first thing I learned about motherhood; that I am way stronger than I ever knew. It takes strength to carry a baby for nine months and deal with all the lovely side effects of pregnancy. It takes strength to bring a baby into this world, regardless of the type of birth you have. It takes strength to get up at three in the morning, more tired than you’ve ever been, and nurse your baby while your husband sleeps soundly. (Seriously. So not fair)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Becoming a mom is learning that you are stronger than you ever knew or believed possible. Being a mom is not for the faint of heart. And yet, so many women I know are incredible, strong mothers. (My own being the best obviously;) </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We may not be perfect moms. We will all make mistakes. We will all be tired. But to be a mom is a privilege and a blessing. And yes it’s one of the hardest jobs out there. But it is one of the best.</span></div>
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Sabrina Lozierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06087124764983335890noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5056263744935950096.post-7620595192037479732018-01-23T11:02:00.000-08:002018-01-23T11:05:33.632-08:00This Is Me<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This past weekend I had the opportunity to go see the movie </span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The Greatest Showman.</span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> It was, in my opinion, an amazing movie and I would highly recommend it to everyone. If you have not yet seen it I will try not to give away any spoilers but the story itself is truly captivating and extremely touching. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">However, there is a particular song in there that really got to me. It’s the song called, This Is Me. If you’ve seen the movie you know what I’m talking about, but if you haven’t I’ll give you a quick rundown. In the movie the song is sung by the bearded lady (yes, a lady with a beard) and she simply talks about how she spent her life being ashamed of who she was and she was done with that. It’s truly a heart rending song. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The first few lines of the song go, </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“</span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I am not a stranger to the dark, hide away- they say, ‘cuz we don’t want your broken parts. I’ve learned to be ashamed of all my scars, run away-they say, no one’ll love you as you are...” </span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Later on she continues saying, “</span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This is brave. This is bruised. This is who I’m meant to be. This is me.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It’s an amazing song with such a powerful message. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And I remember sitting in the movie theater wanting to cry because how often have I been afraid and ashamed of who I am? How many times have I felt so broken that I thought there was no way anyone could ever love me as I am?</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWYcOw7YpqxuEZ7GahiDYSAwBQOJfxPBf5OkyLZeStip1GwYKQU3Ovl4BWnApsga3xHFZ2WuyuZLY7kRoS6v3TyVFlWdT9jxuAwccXinBoXGh88w9GVEKjsjDDIMF2dV5StaShDKJg3gln/s1600/DSC00604.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1003" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWYcOw7YpqxuEZ7GahiDYSAwBQOJfxPBf5OkyLZeStip1GwYKQU3Ovl4BWnApsga3xHFZ2WuyuZLY7kRoS6v3TyVFlWdT9jxuAwccXinBoXGh88w9GVEKjsjDDIMF2dV5StaShDKJg3gln/s320/DSC00604.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I’ve never been a super outgoing person. It takes me a long time to warm up to people and truly feel comfortable. I’ve always been the kind of person who sits in the back of the classroom or in the back of the church. I’ve always said it’s because I like keeping an eye on other people and because I don’t like the feeling of people watching me. But if I’m honest, the reason I stay in the back is because it’s easier to hide that way.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">If people can’t see me then they won’t try to talk to me. I won’t have to be vulnerable. It’s easier to hide that way. Hide my sorrows, my scars, my mistakes. I mean, who could ever love the girl who used to cut herself? Who could ever love the girl who has struggled with depression her entire life? No. It’s much safer to hide. After all, if people don’t know who you are then they can’t judge you, right?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And I wonder if I’m not the only one who feels this way. The world can be a cruel place, full of judgement and hate and prejudice. The world doesn’t want broken people. It wants beautiful, perfect people living beautiful, perfect lives. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So we pretend. We put on a show. We hide. Don’t let anyone in. Don’t show the world your scars and your bruises and your mistakes. Nobody wants to see that. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But as Christians, is that the life God calls us to? To hide and be afraid and ashamed of who we are and what we’ve done? I don’t think so. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I remember when I first wanted to start this blog. I wanted to express myself, to step out of the shadows, so to speak. But honestly, I was terrified. I remember thinking to myself, </span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“Why would anyone want to read or even care about what you have to say?”</span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> But I went ahead and put myself on the line anyway, voicing my opinions and being extremely vulnerable at times. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And the strangest thing happened. Instead of people running away in fear or throwing metaphorical tomatoes at me, people listened to me. With each new post I watched the number of readers rise.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Not only that but there were people who reached out to me and said they felt that same way, that they were going through the same things.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Whoa. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Because I had the courage to step out of my comfort zone, God showed me just how amazing it can be to be vulnerable and authentic. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And I wonder what would happen if we all did that? If we could all be brave enough to be authentic and in turn to love people as they come, not as we think they ought to be. Because at the end of the day we all have our bruises and scars, we’ve all made mistakes and we’ve all been hurt. And I bet everyone’s had that thought cross their mind, “How could anyone ever love me?”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But that’s just the thing. God calls us to love one another. He calls us to be a light in this dark world. And how can a light shine if it’s hidden under a basket?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So I pray that we can all learn to be authentic and real and love people regardless of their brokenness, that we would be who God has called us to be even when it’s hard. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I am not perfect. I have made mistakes. I’ve been hurt and rejected at times. I have scars, both physical and emotional. But I can’t let those moments define me. That’s not who God has called me to be. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I am brave. I am bruised. I am who I’m meant to be. This is me. </span></div>
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Sabrina Lozierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06087124764983335890noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5056263744935950096.post-40276017717184525002018-01-19T10:35:00.000-08:002018-01-19T10:35:42.814-08:00Why Getting Married Young Isn't Such A Bad Thing<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfbKsww5twi9cruyRqXRb_oQIIax3T-UJaG1mZpIti768LIiW2YGhw3xccGFacyH1FtcvVmeEV-0JbwgyfFJu1cN2Ji6R1UXY0fQGT18nednbCAndZr16hn2bJVVQO80h7haWQNmtMnWAc/s1600/DSC02584.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1069" data-original-width="1600" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfbKsww5twi9cruyRqXRb_oQIIax3T-UJaG1mZpIti768LIiW2YGhw3xccGFacyH1FtcvVmeEV-0JbwgyfFJu1cN2Ji6R1UXY0fQGT18nednbCAndZr16hn2bJVVQO80h7haWQNmtMnWAc/s320/DSC02584.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">My husband and I got engaged when we were just 18 years old. It was one of the happiest days of my life, even if didn’t quite go according to plan (long story there). And then, nearly ten months later we got married at just 19 years old. Most people were very happy for us and encouraged us and were Godly examples for us to follow. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Others, well, not so much. No one ever told me outright that it was crazy I was getting married so young. But there were a few occasions when I told people I was engaged and they definitely gave me funny looks, possibly questioning my judgement or whether I happened to be pregnant. I wasn’t.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So why on earth would I go and do something crazy like marry my best friend? (Gee I dunno, maybe because we were in love?) Why would I miss out on my youth and settle down so young?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Maybe because marriage isn’t about ME. Maybe it’s about making a life with the person I love more than anyone in the world. If I get to spend the rest of my life living for someone else, caring for their needs and their happiness, is that wasting my youth?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It seems that the past several decades there has been this strange taboo on getting married young, even when fifty or sixty years ago people got married right out of high school all the time. In fact, both of my grandparents married their high school sweethearts and had marriages that lasted more than fifty years. Fifty years people!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Interestingly enough, I’ve realized recently that I know A LOT of people who are rebelling against this cultural norm and getting married young anyway. And who doesn’t love a rebel?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And I’ve started to realize that us “crazy kids” getting married young have several things in common. Things that actually aren’t that crazy.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">For one; We don’t want to live together before we get married.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I know. Absolute, utter nonsense. I remember when I was engaged both my parents got a ton of flack for letting their 19 year old daughter get married. “Why don’t they just live together?” People asked them, as if somehow that was a better alternative. But what is the difference really between getting married and living together, except that in one case you’ve made a lifetime commitment to another person and in the other case there will always be one foot out the door. Just in case. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But in marriage, there is no, one-foot-in, one-foot-out. It’s all or nothing. Which brings me to my next point.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We understand the sanctity and commitment of marriage. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We don’t want to date around. We don’t want to party. We value things like marriage and family and commitment. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Most of the people I know who don’t want to settle down are people who like to drink and party and mess around. They don’t want to be tied down. They want experiment. They think marriage is a piece of paper and it doesn’t mean anything.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We disagree. We believe there is so much more to life than partying. Like serving our spouse, even when we aren’t “feeling the love.” We want a family, and to raise our children in an upright manner. Most of all though, we aren’t afraid to settle down and commit to one single person for the rest of our lives.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I wonder who is really more mature?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Lastly; We want to start our lives with the person we love.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I’ve never actually seen the movie but I’ve heard the quote, “When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” (When Harry Met Sally)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I’m not sure I could really say it any better. If you’ve found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, whether at 19 or 39, why wait?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Because age equals maturity? I think everyone knows that’s not really true in the long run. Some people are ready to be married at 19 and others not until much later. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But, I digress. The point is, getting married young is not such a bad thing. Every morning I get to wake up to the man of my dreams. And fall asleep next to him every night.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi86TEssx3Qs8l1pkzf27w_WQWHySnH-NyumkEe-bWrgy9kyHZc0hqk2LpImmCe-TRhL3jgnxkKkBNxpWVLE_xYkTxJISEIQwWFn7PRStkXRhTn5Zh9P2vAF6aCi3JKWMpepHAGaCCt5J5G/s1600/DSC01475.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1069" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi86TEssx3Qs8l1pkzf27w_WQWHySnH-NyumkEe-bWrgy9kyHZc0hqk2LpImmCe-TRhL3jgnxkKkBNxpWVLE_xYkTxJISEIQwWFn7PRStkXRhTn5Zh9P2vAF6aCi3JKWMpepHAGaCCt5J5G/s320/DSC01475.jpg" width="213" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We get to build a life </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">together.</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> My husband and I never lived together, so when we moved in together after we got married we got to </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">enjoy</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> the newness of getting married. We learned more about each other (for better or worse). We figured out how to work as a team and do things together. We weren’t stuck in our old ways like some people are when they enter into marriage. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But one of the best things about getting married young; we get to be there for all those big milestones in life. I got to be there when my husband was accepted into his program. I’ll get to be there when he graduates and when he gets his first job as an ultrasound tech. We got to experience the joy of having our first child together. We will get to go through life together, enjoying the ups and downs together. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I can’t imagine anything better than going through life with my favorite person by my side. Sure there will be (and there have been) storms along the way. We’ve been thrown more than a couple of curveballs. It’s not always rainbows and butterflies and happy young love. Sometimes it’s really hard. It takes work. But it is </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">always </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">worth it in the end. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So yes, getting married young isn’t a bad thing at all. And though some people might find it a little crazy, I don’t feel like I’m missing out at all. It has been the greatest adventure, and I look forward to many more. </span></div>
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Sabrina Lozierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06087124764983335890noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5056263744935950096.post-2646474149057419522018-01-16T10:19:00.001-08:002018-01-16T10:20:42.768-08:00No Social Media - One Week In<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">January 7th my husband and I set out to essentially “fast” from social media, tv, and video games for 30 whole days!! (I know, crazy)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We’re a little over one week in and it’s crazy how much our lives have changed already. Both in ways that were expected and unexpected. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Suddenly, without the distraction of facebook or pinterest or whatever, I have time to workout. (yay.) My husband and I have been sitting down at the table to eat dinner, instead of in front of the tv. We play with Levi more and read books and spend more time in the word instead of zoning out on our phones. Our house has stayed cleaner! Because when you’re free from distractions you suddenly have time to </span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">keep</span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> your house clean. Funny how that works. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Going into this challenge I was a little worried that I might get lonely. After all, when you live far from home, like we do, facebook is one of the few ways you can stay connected to friends and family back home. But strangely enough I didn’t really feel that lonely at all. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">In some ways, I actually felt less lonely. Here’s where the unexpected part comes in. I realized a very harsh and bitter truth about myself: I look to social media for approval. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">GASP!!!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This challenge has been at times, very easy and yet very hard. Staying away from my phone wasn’t nearly as hard as I thought it might be. The hard part was realizing that I wanted to post things sheerly for the approval of others. I wanted people to see me in a good light. I often post cute and funny pictures of my son, so that people will think I’m a good mom. (how that makes sense I’m truly not sure) I want people to think I’m funny and nice and that I’ve got it all together!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But if I’m honest with myself; I definitely don’t have it all together. I only ever post the good parts of my life. I don’t post pictures of a sink full of dirty dishes, or a picture of my messy house. I don’t post that I feel lonely or that since Levi’s been born we eat way more fast food than ever before. And whether I post the good parts of my life to convince others or myself that I’ve got it all together, I really don’t know. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But I wonder if I’m not the only one. I wonder if other people scroll through facebook feeling like everyone has it together except them. Ouch. That’s a tough pill to swallow. And it’s hard not to feel inadequate when see that super fit girl posting a post-workout selfie. Or the mom who seems to have mastered motherhood, making homemade meals, taking her perfect angels to the park everyday, all the while volunteering at the homeless shelter. Okay, I exaggerate, but still. How many of us post things that make it look like we have it all together when really, maybe we don’t?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And it’s not that I think we need to post every hardship or every depressing thought that comes into our heads on facebook. I simply wonder if we spent </span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>less</i></span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> time on facebook and </span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>more</i></span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> time truly connecting with people, if we’d be a little less lonely. Less depressed. Less of a need to put your best face forward and convince the world that you’re superwoman (or man).</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Real, authentic people who care about one another. I wonder what would happen….</span></div>
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Sabrina Lozierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06087124764983335890noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5056263744935950096.post-317105397590795422018-01-08T10:02:00.000-08:002018-01-08T10:05:28.420-08:00Politicians Are NOT Going To Save Us<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Ugh. Politics. My least favorite topic in the whole world. So much passion on either side. So much… fighting.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I don’t know about you but anytime politics of any sort get brought up I dread the oncoming conversation. In fact, I’m dreading posting this at all because I know someone is not going to like what I have to say. And the thing is, it doesn’t even seem to matter whether I agree with them or not. There’s always arguing, disagreement, name-calling, hurt feelings… No. I’d like to stay as far away from that as possible. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">However, this year it seems to be worse than usual. With the presidential election last year I’ve witnessed more political tension and strife than I ever have before. Every way you look someone is angry about something. And someone else is angry with them for being angry about whatever the first person was angry with!</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi74GpqeuabErFFR1_t_hjmIRi8tC4xCrsLlEjkIfN0Ykv83h_qtAxNSZOIWo7wcmZNjhP5zoYPOcpkSO6qvuJhh9Q7FMyvxntOuAHb_5bwGrEVx1L4PkoS9CFdmLeWu9OsrmJHXQf6MLt8/s1600/Politics-in-the-workplace-700x467.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="467" data-original-width="700" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi74GpqeuabErFFR1_t_hjmIRi8tC4xCrsLlEjkIfN0Ykv83h_qtAxNSZOIWo7wcmZNjhP5zoYPOcpkSO6qvuJhh9Q7FMyvxntOuAHb_5bwGrEVx1L4PkoS9CFdmLeWu9OsrmJHXQf6MLt8/s320/Politics-in-the-workplace-700x467.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Anger. Fear. Tension. Strife. Quarreling. Name-calling on Facebook. It’s all too much for me sometimes. So often I’ve wondered why we can’t just calm down and talk things out civilly, like adults. Because I’ve worked in a daycare. I know a temper tantrum when I see one. And these days it seems like there are an awful lot of toddlers trapped in adult bodies. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Now I don’t want to say all of this to make people mad. Heaven knows that is the last thing I want. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But a few weeks ago I came to a realization. I was scrolling through Facebook when I came across some political piece criticizing something or other. It was one of those people who is constantly posting political things. (It doesn’t really matter who but we all know </span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">that</span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> person) Normally I just scroll on. I tend to avoid controversial fighting on Facebook (and real life too if I’m being honest). </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But for some reason I paused and read this particular little ad. It was something about the president being a nazi or some such. Now I don’t know if that’s true or not (and that’s not really the point) but it made me stop and think. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This person, for whatever reason, truly believed our president was acting like a nazi. It was in that moment that I realized I had a hope that this person did not have. The hope of Jesus. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">For a moment I saw the world as they saw it. They believed the people in power did not have the people’s best interests at heart. They thought they were nazis, tyrants, the big dogs on top. Whatever you want to call them. And they were scared. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And I realized I would be scared too if I had to put my entire faith into a human being. Let alone a human being that I didn’t think was a good person. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And suddenly my heart broke. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">All of these people, left to put their hope in no one but a human being. A faulty, broken human being. To be honest, I don’t know how they do it. I don’t know how someone could live without the hope that Jesus offers. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But I do know one thing. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“He changes times and seasons; he removes kings and sets up kings; he gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to those who have understanding…” Daniel 2:21</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I don’t pretend to know why God does the things he does. I don’t always like the people he puts in power. I don’t always want to follow where he leads. But I do know this; Politicians are NOT going to save us. Human beings are NOT going to save us. The nicest, most honest person on the planet is still NOT going to save us.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Because people will always let us down. Even the people who care about us most will let us down. Because none of us are perfect and we’re all more than a little broken. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But I’m not afraid. This world can be a scary, dark, cruel place, but the light of Jesus will be my guide. Because in the end, he is the only one who can truly save us. </span></div>
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Sabrina Lozierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06087124764983335890noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5056263744935950096.post-29576284736857955572018-01-06T13:01:00.001-08:002018-01-06T13:02:55.354-08:0030 Days - No Social Media<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhonWV5_a4F-q9Yx6ketw6s50FHvEixa8oqVGUFDIqmXM1QnzGRYwMw9uoWBfjb0ZtcIyx2SiBucmcWhiR7U3Ax7FebWGVPQNDV23UgM-Nzq8zOM-o0AF36DeFact8RJTNnpcQQyds62MOx/s1600/girlsonphones.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="450" data-original-width="800" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhonWV5_a4F-q9Yx6ketw6s50FHvEixa8oqVGUFDIqmXM1QnzGRYwMw9uoWBfjb0ZtcIyx2SiBucmcWhiR7U3Ax7FebWGVPQNDV23UgM-Nzq8zOM-o0AF36DeFact8RJTNnpcQQyds62MOx/s320/girlsonphones.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; text-indent: 36pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; text-indent: 36pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Yes. You read that correctly. Thirty days. No social media.</span><br />
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<span id="docs-internal-guid-d4a249e8-cd40-7eae-4fe5-1b1f6d939514"><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Why would I attempt such a strange and arduous task? Well. Here’s the thing. Have you ever thought about how much time you spend just scrolling through Facebook or Pinterest or Instagram?</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Personally, I try not to. Largely because, well, I know I spend WAYYY too much time on there. I find myself getting on to just check one little thing, really quick, and suddenly, an hour has gone by just scrolling. And usually by the time I realize I’ve wasted a precious hour (or two or three) of my life and logout, I find that I forgot why I even got on there in the first place!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">To my dismay, it has become a vicious cycle. It’s made worse by the fact that to certain extent we need our phones and laptops. We need to get a hold of people. We need them to be able to get a hold of us. We need to answer emails and texts and check assignments online. Our world has sadly made it nearly impossible to live without modern technology.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But what if, for thirty whole days, we said no. No to Facebook. No to Instagram. No to Pinterest. It sounds so dreadfully hard!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I don’t know about you but I wonder how our lives would change. Would we have more time and energy to do the things we actually wanted? More time to spend with our friends and our families? More time to spend reading God’s word?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">For me, I know I tend to make excuses when it comes to having the time to do things. I don’t have time to workout. I don’t have time to read my bible. I don’t have time to do homework or laundry or dishes!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But if I’m brutally honest with myself, I do. But isn’t it so much easier to pull out our cell phones and just mindlessly scroll? We can spend hours watching videos about cats or food or fails. We can spend hours pinning and stalking people we used to know on Facebook. It’s just </span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">so </span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">easy.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But is it really life fulfilling? Uh oh.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The truth is, we have a lot more time than I think we even realize. I can (and often do) spend hours on Pinterest looking for the perfect workout, when I could really just.. Go work out. The sad fact is, I’m only just beginning to realize how much time I do waste. And if there’s one thing we can never get back, it’s the time we have on this earth.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The reason my time has suddenly become so very precious to me is because, well, I have a baby. He’s growing before my very eyes and before I know it he’ll be all grown up. I don’t want to miss that.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So for the next thirty days my husband and I are abstaining from social media. No Facebook. No Instagram. No Pinterest. (because my husband is the pinterest addict obviously…) We’ve also decided to include television and video games because those are other big time wasters for us. We will still be using our phones for texting and calling, but that’s pretty much it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Along the way I plan to write and blog about our experience with this “Thirty Day Challenge”. For me, writing is life fulfilling so I don’t see that as wasted time. But I don’t want to just stop wasting time. I want to fill my life with the things, the people and the God I love. And I know I just can’t do that sitting in front of a screen.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So tomorrow, January 7th, is Day One for me. The last day will be February 5th. If you would like to join me that would be amazing and I'd love to hear all about it! If not, I completely understand. But it’s never too late to make a change</span></div>
</span>Sabrina Lozierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06087124764983335890noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5056263744935950096.post-24053839879690866472018-01-04T14:25:00.001-08:002018-01-04T14:31:21.594-08:00The New Year as a Young Mom <span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; text-indent: 36pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">The past few days a lot of people have asked if I did anything fun to celebrate the New Year, to which I laughed and responded with, "No. I have a baby." But in all reality this New Year's one of the most special I've had the privilege of celebrating, and probably not for the reason you think.</span><br />
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<span id="docs-internal-guid-445d2769-c344-a7bf-6743-e797257ccc83"><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">You see, here’s the thing about becoming a parent; your life never really goes back to the way it was. Sure your life settles down eventually, you get into a rhythm and a routine, you learn the ins and outs of parenthood and find a new “normal”. But it’s never quite the same.</span></span></div>
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<span id="docs-internal-guid-445d2769-c344-a7bf-6743-e797257ccc83"><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">As a parent you suddenly find yourself devoting a good chunk of your time and energy to keep another sweet, adorable, sometimes seemingly possessed, little human being alive. You feed them, change them, lay them down for naps (or die trying). You soothe boo-boos and temper tantrums. You clean up vomit and blowouts and other messes resulting from bodily functions you didn’t even know about </span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">until</span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> you became a parent.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">No. After you have kids your life is never the same. But it’s not just because of the endless pile of laundry you seem to have these days (who knew the tiniest person in the house could up the laundry exponentially?). It’s not because everywhere you go now you have to lug a giant car seat or corral a bunch of toddlers into your new, sweet, minivan. It’s not even because a new, little human changes the entire dynamic between you and your spouse.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The biggest thing that changes is that, in a way, your life is no longer your own. Somebody’s very life is placed into your hands. You literally have the power to shape someone’s entire existence, for better or worse. You nurture them and care for them and help them grow. It’s difficult and amazing and challenging and wonderful and at times… lonely.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">There. I said it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Because when you have kids, you give up nearly everything. And it’s worth it. SO worth it. But suddenly you have to make sacrifices and put someone’s needs before your own desires. It’s very similar to getting married, except that you’re marrying an adult who can (hopefully) take care of themselves and survive perfectly fine without you.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But when you have a baby they’re quite literally dependent on you for EVERYTHING. You sacrifice your sleep, your freetime, your hobbies, date nights, girls nights, showers, vacations, and much, much more.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And at times, it’s really, really hard.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And it’s made harder when you feel like no one else really gets it. You see, I didn’t really get a typical “teenage experience”. I started taking college classes at sixteen and got a job a few months later. Then I graduated, got engaged at eighteen, married at nineteen and after three months of marriage learned that I was pregnant.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It was exciting! And fun! We were having a baby! But here’s the thing about getting married young and having a baby, you kind of feel like the odd one out.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I’ve realized the past few months that a strange sort of resentment had been building up inside of me. My and husband and I don’t exactly fit the mold. College age students who are married with a baby are just not something you find much these days. Sure we have married friends with kids, but they’re several years older than us. And we have some younger friends who are married, but most of them aren’t ready to have a kids yet.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And then there are the friends who aren’t married at all. The ones who are going to school and traveling to other countries and having fun 21st birthday parties. Just living life and embracing their youth!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And sometimes I scroll through facebook and can’t help but feel like an outsider. Like I missed out somehow. I didn’t get to go to a university. I didn’t get to study abroad and travel. I didn’t get to have a fun night out with my friends for my 21st.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And to be honest it took me longer than it should have to realize what was going on. I was jealous. Jealous of the friends who can go wherever they wanted, whenever they wanted. Jealous of the friends who’ve decided to wait on kids and now get to travel with their friends or spouses. Jealous that they could sleep whenever they felt like it! (Seriously though. Sleep is a luxury these days.)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And when you’re one of the only people your age with kids it’s really easy to feel completely alone, like nobody gets it. After all, there’s a reason people are waiting to have kids. I realized I’d been begging some of my friends and family to have kids not because “It’s the best thing ever!” and “Levi needs friends and cousins!” but mostly because I didn’t want to feel so alone in motherhood.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJOnciqOAL_mLSRYbSPNzxRTwkidOT6tNO_q-fDnX5YpjuUlcY_fN0JZCOdIkhgZW9cb0CzQ0VAjfZXfVNj0zTDFOfmFOzeic5mMzvpTA53FKR6_61Kgwlwu4nP71NEjJx1PAQELWvCQTP/s1600/tempImage+%25283%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1500" data-original-width="930" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJOnciqOAL_mLSRYbSPNzxRTwkidOT6tNO_q-fDnX5YpjuUlcY_fN0JZCOdIkhgZW9cb0CzQ0VAjfZXfVNj0zTDFOfmFOzeic5mMzvpTA53FKR6_61Kgwlwu4nP71NEjJx1PAQELWvCQTP/s400/tempImage+%25283%2529.jpg" width="247" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Then </span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">it hit me the other day like a ton of bricks. After church my husband and I loaded up Levi and decided to go for a hike. We strapped Levi into his carrier and started walking. It was a beautiful day. A little cold, but the sun was shining and we hiked along the lake. And I realized, I loved my family.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I know, shocker.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> But it was more than just realizing my love for my family. I’ve always loved them. It was realizing that I loved them so much that I’d looked to them for complete fulfillment, when I should have been looking to God. I love my husband and my son. I wouldn’t trade them for anything. But they will never be enough for me. At the end of the day God is the only one who can truly fulfill me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">In that moment, it was as if he whispered into my heart, reminding me that I love the life he has given me, that he has placed me where I am for a reason.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">God has placed me in my life as a wife and a mother. He hasn’t placed me in a big university. He hasn’t placed me overseas traveling. He hasn’t placed me at some party. He’s placed me right here, right now as a wife and mom. It’s tempting to feel like I missed out somehow. But if this is the life God has called me to, am I really missing out?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> And later that night, while other people were ringing in the new year with parties and events and fireworks I was sitting in a rocking chair holding my sweet, sleepy, baby boy. And for the first time in along time I realized I wouldn’t have it any other way.</span></div>
<br /><br /></span>Sabrina Lozierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06087124764983335890noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5056263744935950096.post-84297968463823663872017-09-26T12:19:00.000-07:002017-09-26T12:19:03.780-07:00I'll Never Be A Good Enough Mom<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOOq-CiZWQ7QRce7YBwMDhX42HicEkkFjgDoJ0UwRkC8B89Ty_AuiMCu5l1Bstrp7UfzmDNmp92R29PzJ3fyJ4FEd5HFfu218jQBOaf8f52zKgMFh5-o-9IcnEiezSDnfegjxvxM6SAOE-/s1600/tempImage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1500" data-original-width="1091" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOOq-CiZWQ7QRce7YBwMDhX42HicEkkFjgDoJ0UwRkC8B89Ty_AuiMCu5l1Bstrp7UfzmDNmp92R29PzJ3fyJ4FEd5HFfu218jQBOaf8f52zKgMFh5-o-9IcnEiezSDnfegjxvxM6SAOE-/s400/tempImage.jpg" width="290" /></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Before I got married and had a child of my own I had this vision in my head of the kind of wife and mom I thought I’d be. I’d have a tastefully decorated house that I kept spic and span. I’d go grocery shopping and make delicious home-made meals. I’d do all of these fun extracurricular activities with my children and I’d have it all together! HA! Yeah right.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Obviously, I quickly learned that that would not be the case AT ALL! Shortly after we got married I got pregnant and had terrible morning sickness, to where I could not even step in the kitchen without having to run to the bathroom to throw up, let alone actually cook a meal! And then came the exhaustion. I’d come home from work and it was all I could do to just tidy up around the house before my feet started to hurt.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And then I actually had a baby. We won’t get into how difficult </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">that </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">is but any mom who has had a couple kids knows. You come home from the hospital in more pain than you’ve ever been in, more tired than you’ve ever been before and to top it off you now have more responsibility than you’ve ever had at any other point in your life. To say you’re a little stressed would be biggest understatement of all time probably.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So the months passed and I thought I’d get my act together. I thought I’d get my baby on a schedule, and while he slept I would clean and do laundry and wash the dishes. And then when he was awake I’d sing songs with him and read books and it would just fine and dandy. Except that’s not exactly what happened. Sure, some days I do get tons of stuff done and have bonding time with my little man but nine times out of ten that’s definitely not the case.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> It seems like I have this never ending to-do list in my head. Vacuum the carpet, make the bed, do the dishes, fold the laundry, sweep the kitchen and then mop the kitchen, go buy groceries etc, etc, etc… The list never ends. Really. It never seems to end. For every one thing I check off, two more get added. It’s like Hydra. </span><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;">So when I look around my house and it looks like a crazy tornado swept through I feel like a complete and total failure.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And when this happens I begin to question my worth as a wife and a mom. I start saying things to myself like, “Wow, Levi and Alton deserve way better than me” or “Why is it so hard to simply do the dishes? I must be a bad mom.” The voices in my head are never kind. Never uplifting. Always dragging me down further and further. Telling me I’m not good enough, and I never will be. All because my house is messy.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Wait, what?</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Yeah. I think I’m a bad wife and mom because I have dirty dishes. </span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Somehow, I truly believed this. And it really wasn’t until recently that I realized just how messed up and destructive this mentality is. And I know that I’m definitely not the only mom who has had these thoughts before. Crazy as it sounds it seems like we as women have taken it on ourselves to be Wonder Woman. We think we need to have a perfectly clean house, we need to be super involved in our kids lives and school activities, we need to be cooking and cleaning and working out and don’t forget to make sure you go to Whole Foods to get the healthiest food for your little ones otherwise you’re a "bad mom". </span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But it’s simply not true. These are the lies we as women have been fed most of our lives. Lies coming from our society, our families, and even sometimes the devil himself. But that’s just it. They’re LIES.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When I finally put this together I realized that I was finding my value and my worth in what I DO. And what I didn’t do. When I ran errands and cleaned the house and played with my son and worked out and put on cute clothes AND makeup and got a billion things done during the day I felt awesome. I did it. I've finally got the hang out of this mom thing. I’m so amazing. </span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And then the next day I wore the clothes that I slept in. I didn’t take a shower or brush my teeth. I spent half the day on the couch feeding my son and binge watching Netflix and not a single thing on my to-do list got done. And I felt awful. I’m definitely the worst mom on the planet. I can’t get it together. What’s wrong with me!?</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And then my husband came home. Of course I apologized. I do every time. </span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“I’m so sorry! Nothing got done!”</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“It’s okay. It will get done eventually.” He said. </span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It took awhile for it to really click. My husband still loves me. He’s not just gonna get rid of me just because our house is a little messy. He doesn’t have that old fashioned mentality. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Instead, he says, “I love you. You’re a good wife and mom.” </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And then after a long day at work he gets up and helps clean the house. </span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">If that’s not a beautiful picture of how Christ loves us then I don’t know what is. How often do we get worn down by life, attempting to do it all on our own, trying desperately to get our act together, only to fail. Time after time.</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i> And then Jesus comes alongside us and says, “I love you. I’ve got this. Lay your burden at my feet so that I may carry it.”</i></span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">You see our value rests in not what we can do but what Christ has done through us. I think we tend to forget this and we set the standards for ourselves SO high. And we will NEVER be good enough on our own. Because when we try to be good enough, we find ourselves absolutely exhausted and staring into the face of failure. But thank the Lord our value does not rest in how clean our house is or whether or not we’re making healthy, homemade meals. I’d have been out of the running a LOOONG time ago.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Now I’m not saying you should never clean your house or even that you shouldn’t strive for a clean house, those are actually really good things. But that is not what makes you a good wife and mom.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Being a good wife and mom is not about keeping a spotless house. It’s not about spending hours in the kitchen slaving over homemade meals. It’s not about getting a million things done and desperately trying to be Super Mom. If that's your definition of a "good" mom then you will NEVER be a good enough mom. It won't happen. I will never be a good enough mom in that sense. But I do love my family, and that's worth more than anything. </span></div>
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<br />Sabrina Lozierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06087124764983335890noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5056263744935950096.post-27261236571734702392017-09-23T11:26:00.000-07:002017-09-23T12:00:45.583-07:00A Letter To My Son<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">**Recently, a friend of mine wrote a letter to her unborn daughter and posted it to her own blog. Reading that letter made me extremely emotional but it was soo good, and it made me realize there are many things I want to tell my own son so she inspired me to write a letter of my own.** </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;">(Her post is here: <a href="http://againsttheordinary.blogspot.com/p/a-letter-to-my-daughter.html">http://againsttheordinary.blogspot.com/p/a-letter-to-my-daughter.html</a>)</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">To My Son:</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">My dear, sweet, little Levi. First off, I want you to know that I love you sooo much! I know you’ve heard it before and you’ll it every day for the rest of your life but that’s only because it’s true.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQiqtA7G4JC3ISnknI1xWuFXswQEYx3ASQ2iHGcvMNesfhJ2_RlWyU6sUZl_sBO8tgSai96myoUjhvRojCGIP4ab81HZ2CGZVRYt71URGEivJN6TrsVfZ5dtiFRtT-Mq3Ta4EeykkS-Zmk/s1600/20170923_111841-COLLAGE.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1024" data-original-width="1024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQiqtA7G4JC3ISnknI1xWuFXswQEYx3ASQ2iHGcvMNesfhJ2_RlWyU6sUZl_sBO8tgSai96myoUjhvRojCGIP4ab81HZ2CGZVRYt71URGEivJN6TrsVfZ5dtiFRtT-Mq3Ta4EeykkS-Zmk/s320/20170923_111841-COLLAGE.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">In fact, from the moment that second little line turned blue I was in love. A little scared, yes, but completely, whole-heartedly in love. And I promise that will never, ever change. I’m going to be honest with you for a moment, you were a bit of a surprise. Your father and I had initially planned to wait awhile longer before we started having kids. But God had a much different plan for our lives. One we could never have dreamed up for ourselves. So I want you to know that even though you were a surprise that you are not an accident, not a mistake and not unwanted.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Honestly, it was quite the opposite. I knew even when I was young that I wanted to be a mom. I knew that God had laid this calling on my heart long before you were ever born, before I learned I was pregnant, before I’d even met your father. Before all of that I wanted you. I prayed for you. I loved you. And I hadn’t even met you yet. But my heart longed for the day I would. And the day you were born I knew my life had changed forever, and it would never be the same.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">From pretty much day one you gave me trouble. You made me sick and tired. You gave me aches and pains. You sent me into preterm labor. Twice. And don’t even get me started on childbirth. And yet, somehow, after all of that, when you were finally born and I heard you cry for the first time and they placed you on my chest, I knew I would do it a million times over for you because you were worth every bit of struggle I went through. You are worth it. I hope you never forget that.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>And </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I hope you never forget just how worthy you are, not only to me, but to your heavenly father as well. Because, though impossible it seems, he loves you so much more than I do, than I ever could. He loves you so much that he gave his </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">ONLY</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> son for you. He died for you. And I pray you never forget </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>that</b></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. </span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It’s sort of funny because before we had learned whether you were a girl or boy I thought for sure you were a girl. (Please don’t hold that against me!) Interestingly enough, I thought our friends, who were also pregnant at the time, were having a boy. Evidently, I got it completely backwards. (I guess I just don’t have the gift)</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Even though I had initially thought you were a girl, when we learned that you were in fact a baby boy I was so happy, albeit a little nervous, but so so happy!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And I’ve come to realize something, that I’ve been given the unique opportunity to raise not just a boy but a young man.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Levi, I said earlier that I prayed for you long before you were ever born but I want you to know that I continue to pray for you everyday. I pray that your father and I will raise you to be a Godly man, something our society is in short supply of these days.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">My hope is that you will be a man who continually strives after God’s own heart, day after day. I pray you will be a REAL man in a world full of overgrown boys. I pray you will be hope for the hurting and a light in the darkness.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And although you are a little boy now, I know the day will come when girls will go from having “cooties” to being cuties. (I know, cheesy, but I couldn’t resist) And you will begin to take notice. And to be honest that day scares me.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Sadly, we live in such a perverted, sexualized culture intent on dragging good men down. And though I am obviously not a man myself I know the temptation will be beyond belief. They will come at you with porn, with sexualized movies and ads, with the notion that all of this “stuff” is completely normal. Please believe me when I say, it’s not. </span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And I pray you know that. I pray you will be a man who goes against the grain, who challenges this depraved mentality. I pray you will be a man who treats women with the respect they deserve - no matter who they are or what they wear. I hope you learn to rise above that. </span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Our culture so often sees men as animals who only want one thing and can’t control their “urges”. But I pray that you will raise the standards for men in your generation, that you prove to them that not all men are dogs, that they’re not only after one thing, and that gentlemen DO exist and you are one of them. Not only that, but I pray you show women that THEY are </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">worthy</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> of a man who treats them well like you do.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I pray you will learn the value of hard work; that you always strive to do your best day in and day out; that when teachers and friends and employers look at you, they see someone responsible and capable and hardworking. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When I think of the man you will become someday the word that comes to mind is courage. I pray that you will be courageous in the face of fear, that you will be a man who stands up for what is right, even if the world is standing against you. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I pray you learn that,</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-style: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-size: large;">Being brave is not about being fearless, but having the courage to do what scares you the most.</span></span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Levi, I hope you know that your father and I will always support you, no matter what direction you choose to go with your life. Your dad and I will always be your biggest fans. I do hope however, that you choose to follow wherever God leads you, whether that is to become a missionary in Nicaragua or to be a high school math teacher. (Just so you know, if you do become a math teacher there’s a good chance I will not be able to help you beyond basic algebra) I simply pray you have the continual courage to go after your dreams no matter how much they may scare you.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And I know, as much as I don’t want to think about it, that someday you will be all grown up. You may go to college and get married and have kids of your own. And although watching you learn and grow is such a joy and a privilege I know that day will come faster than I think and as I’ve said before I know I will miss the days when you were just a little boy in my arms. But to watch you go from a little boy to a young man is an incredible responsibility and nothing could make me happier. </span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So I have one last prayer for you. (Although not really) I pray that you will be a reflection of Jesus Christ. That you will be a man who fights for his family, his wife, his friends and his God. That you would be a witness every single day to those around you and realize that God has placed you when and where you are for a divine purpose. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Because you are</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">beautifully and wonderfully made.</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> I know God has an amazing plan for your life and I hope you never forget who you are, but most of all, WHOSE you are. </span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Once again, I love you so much. Nothing you ever do will change that.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Love, Mommy</span></div>
<br />Sabrina Lozierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06087124764983335890noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5056263744935950096.post-81925448767613633882017-09-21T13:15:00.000-07:002017-09-21T13:24:10.491-07:00To Levi - The Hardest Job<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">August 3rd, 2017</span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-820f03d6-a607-9ae3-8585-99c7e4347690" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I know I should be folding laundry right now. Or washing the insane pile of dishes. Or packing for the big move. In fact, there’s probably a billion other things I </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>SHOULD</b></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> be doing right now, and yet, I’m laying here watching you sleep, just trying to soak it all in. Your tiny hands, your tiny feet, your tiny, little snores.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">You see if there’s one thing I’ve learned in the few short weeks you’ve been here on this earth it’s this; Motherhood is </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>hard.</b></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Pregnancy is </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>hard.</b></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Labor is </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>hard.</b></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Sleep deprivation is </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>hard.</b></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Trying to clean the house with a screaming, fussy baby is </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>hard.</b></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> But when you curl up in my arms and fall asleep, or you flash me that big, heart-melting smile, it’s all completely worth it. Every struggle, every tear, every hard day. You are worth it. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I heard a saying once that went something like this:</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhddY6PebTcQ1EMMdUuorP3D8tevGIcCKnVwT5amoPfxGefeR5Wwn4aJOVhibeNuX3Jq1Rp6FvRjSSjYr8unz3HycHS10nFNDkhk4OC0xEOwYORlw9E-7qkUk9C2EqDW3nl9uZTPbhyphenhyphenrYDp/s1600/20170916_114701.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="900" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhddY6PebTcQ1EMMdUuorP3D8tevGIcCKnVwT5amoPfxGefeR5Wwn4aJOVhibeNuX3Jq1Rp6FvRjSSjYr8unz3HycHS10nFNDkhk4OC0xEOwYORlw9E-7qkUk9C2EqDW3nl9uZTPbhyphenhyphenrYDp/s200/20170916_114701.jpg" width="112" /></a></div>
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>“Parenting, the days are long but the years are short.”</b></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">You see I'm beginning to realize that things are hard now, yes, but I know they won’t always be. And I know you won’t always be this little. Before I know it you’ll be all grown up and I’ll find myself missing the days when you were this small, when I could hold you in my arms.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So the chores can wait a little while longer. Because there will </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>ALWAYS</b></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> be laundry to fold and dishes to wash. But you will only be this little once, and so I’m going to enjoy every minute I can get. </span></div>
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Sabrina Lozierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06087124764983335890noreply@blogger.com3